Should I Tell My Child About Their Autism Assessment?
Many parents often wonder whether or not they should tell their child about their autism assessment. You may be wondering what to say to your child and how much to share. Children benefit from knowing something about what to expect. We don’t want the assessment to feel like a sudden surprise to them. But the way you talk about the assessment with your child should match their age, developmental level, and communication style.
Talking about the Assessment with Younger Children
For younger children, it’s best to keep the explanation simple and positive. This may look like telling them that they are going to play with someone new that day. I typically recommend parents avoid using phrases like, “We’re going to the doctor,” unless your child really loves the doctor. For a lot of children, the idea of the doctor may be associated with previous difficult experiences, like getting a shot. So they may try to prepare themselves for a similar situation, which can increase anxiety. In reality, the autism assessment typically involves lots of toys and play! This is why I try to keep the idea of play as the focus for younger children.
A simple script might be something like:
“We’re going to meet someone new today, and you’ll get to play with some toys together.”
This helps set the expectation without overwhelming them with details.
Talking about the Assessment with Older Children and Teens
If your child is a little older and already curious about parts of their identity, it may be helpful to explain that this process is to get a better understanding of how their brain processes the world around them.
You can say something like:
“This appointment will help us learn how your brain processes things. Everyone’s brain works differently, and understanding yours more can help us support you even more.”
You can use this as an opportunity to start the conversation around autism in general. As someone who is passionate about using a neurodiversity-affirming approach, I do not see autism as something that needs to be cured. Rather, I see it as an important part of someone’s identity. For an older child, particularly teenagers, understanding this part of their identity can be beneficial for their overall well-being. Research has shown (Cooper et al., 2023) that autistic young people who had a positive sense of their autism identity were more likely to have higher psychological well-being and lower social anxiety.
So…Should I Tell My Child About the Assessment?
Overall, I definitely recommend telling your child about the autism assessment. However, the way you frame it can depend on your child’s age, developmental level, and understanding of language.
I’m Here to Support You Through This Process
I am happy to talk with you about how to best explain the assessment to your child when we meet for our initial parent meeting. Every child is different, and together we can find the language that fits your family best.
If you’d like to learn more about what my full autism evaluation process includes, you can read about it here.
I provide autism assessments for children and teens in Irvine and Arcadia, and I’m here to support you through each step of the process.
References
Cooper, K., Russell, A. J., Lei, J., & Smith, L. G. (2023). The impact of a positive autism identity and autistic community solidarity on social anxiety and mental health in autistic young people. Autism : the international journal of research and practice, 27(3), 848–857. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221118351